" I Wanted to tell you that "

" Wherever you may end up in this world "

" I will be searching for you "

Dear God,
Help me to understand,

this darkness within me.

Help me find purpose

when I feel useless.
Help me gain confidence

to see the worth within me.

Help me stand through

rough waves of shadow

and help me heal through

the times I've wronged others.

Please heal them of those wounds.

Dear God,
Please be by my side,

for now, I am feeling so alone.

 Shrouded by armor, shoulders shook. It was as if blood would start to trickle off their lip. 

"What is this?" they asked.

Your darkness.

"How do I control it? It's always there."

Can it be controlled?

"I don't know! That's why I am asking you."

You know the answer.

"...it can't can it? I can contain it, but I can't...eliminate it." 

You've had to protect yourself for too long.

"I don't want to have to protect myself anymore."

The shade smirked.

It doesn't work that way, darling.

"What happened to me?"

You trusted. You were hurt. You trusted. You were used. You trusted. You were manipulated. 

"I tried to let it slide...to ignore it and move on."

A wise choice, but wounds never heal through ignorance.

lay my head down
you're the only home
i've ever known.

hold me, tell me
everything's alright.
eyes locked, airtight.

i've been here a thousand times,
haven't I? 
this field feels familiar,
filled with violins
and cricket songs
and a promise of forever.

i stand in this field alone
lay my head down
maybe i'm the only home
i've ever known. 

i've been here a thousand times...
haven't I?

- m.j.m

please turn this chattering madness
into silence -
i'm starting to think of whatever way it takes.

- m.j.m

 "I wanted to destroy the world. Now...I'd do anything to save it."

you keep sneaking in the corners
of thoughts that I thought were silent

- m.j.m

when did we lose sight
of old dreams?
is the system built on 
making us forget? 
keeping us too busy
to chase?

- m.j.m

 my head is overwhelmed

from all of the voices

that i didn't want to hear.

- m.j.m

you make life a song
that i can't stop dancing to

- m.j.m

You and Proto are in a blank field. There is nothing there, albeit dead trees and trampled grass. 
You look at him with squinted eyebrows.
He looks at you and walks towards the center of the field. He points to you, and then to himself.
His arms begin to tremble as he aims open palms down at the ground, body rising, beginning to levitate. He raises his arms, and the grass lifts, the trees set in bloom, and everything covered in bright blue, green, purple luminescence. Flowers sprout, the sky glitters, and fireflies glow across the fields. 
Your eyes fill with tears, your skin covered in goosebumps. 
Novo falls to the ground, panting heavily. You walk over, and cradle him in your arms, hugging him close. You trace an infinity sign over his heart. He holds your hand over his heart and you can feel it pounding, faster than any human heartbeat. 

He takes out a necklace, shakes it into your hand, then motions to the dirt. As you plant the seeds, you see a flower peek up slowly from the soil, the petals forming a deep, rich red in front of you. 

- - -

Well, you were considered the first "real" experiment right?

"Yeah."

"How's Proto sound?"
"Proto..."

"Is that too...connected to this place? Do you want something else?"
"Proto."

all Ohio gave me was

 bugs on my windshield

- m.j.m

transience
bittersweet fleeting beauty

i need it to be better.

i pray for it to be better

i promise that i'll continue to be good
even when it's hard, even when i've lost faith
in everyone but myself. 

the burden is my light 
and i refuse to let it go

- m.j.m

tatakae
tatakae
tatakae

jasmine

fill the scent of jasmine in my nose - 
something new, something unknown.
temporarily want to forget everything i know.


- m.j.m

flipped

 INT - LAB - DAY

The alarms are blaring, blinking red. SCIENTISTS are running through the halls with knives. 
YOU see MONSTERS strapped down being stabbed. Everything is moving in slow motion.

YOU (internal):
The monsters...

The world is phasing in and out of blurriness. BARIN carries you and runs. 

BARIN (to others):
RUN! We need to get out of here!

SCIENTIST stabs Barin's neck. He whimpers and falls over. 

YOU:
No, no, no...

You get up and scream, but they throw you across the room. Barin reaches for you, and they kill him in front of you. The ground shakes beneath you and begins to tear apart as your eyes light blue and the world starts to fall apart. A scientist slits your throat, the blood seeping everywhere, the world falling silent as you fall to the ground. They place you outside, and place you in a field of flowers. Novo limps beside you, falling over. 

NOVO:
This. 
This is the future I saw.
This. This is what they are. 
and your whole world roots for them.

A bloody tear drips off of his face. 

I couldn't save my brother, but...
I can save you and...we can save them.

He takes your hand, the flowers rustle, and the whole world spins...

wash away the misery
thoughts of strawberries,
a sunset sky, and a cup
of green tea ice cream

-m.j.m

chaos on the counter

throw flour on the counters,

leave it there

empy bag in the pantry

chaos on the counter baby,

just like the way you left me.

- m.j.m

I throw everything to the floor,

sink my shoulders because

breathing feels heavy

and i don't want to anymore

- m.j.m

???:
Why? 

His hands are trembling.

???:
Why would you do this?

The shadowy figure sits, staring without reaction. He sighs.

???: 
Why would you give me all that is good, only to take it away?

??? grips his head, scratching, rocking back and forth. The room seems to morph with his movements.

???:
I can't... 
(beat)
I c-can't take it anymore!!

???  cries. 

???:
Why would you bring me into a world like...this?

my burden

 the light is my burden

and though you may doubt,

i will take the burden of

swimming in the darkness

to bring the light to those 

who are trapped and drowning.

-m.j.m