" I Wanted to tell you that "

" Wherever you may end up in this world "

" I will be searching for you "

Dear God,
Help me to understand,

this darkness within me.

Help me find purpose

when I feel useless.
Help me gain confidence

to see the worth within me.

Help me stand through

rough waves of shadow

and help me heal through

the times I've wronged others.

Please heal them of those wounds.

Dear God,
Please be by my side,

for now, I am feeling so alone.

 Shrouded by armor, shoulders shook. It was as if blood would start to trickle off their lip. 

"What is this?" they asked.

Your darkness.

"How do I control it? It's always there."

Can it be controlled?

"I don't know! That's why I am asking you."

You know the answer.

"...it can't can it? I can contain it, but I can't...eliminate it." 

You've had to protect yourself for too long.

"I don't want to have to protect myself anymore."

The shade smirked.

It doesn't work that way, darling.

"What happened to me?"

You trusted. You were hurt. You trusted. You were used. You trusted. You were manipulated. 

"I tried to let it slide...to ignore it and move on."

A wise choice, but wounds never heal through ignorance.

lay my head down
you're the only home
i've ever known.

hold me, tell me
everything's alright.
eyes locked, airtight.

i've been here a thousand times,
haven't I? 
this field feels familiar,
filled with violins
and cricket songs
and a promise of forever.

i stand in this field alone
lay my head down
maybe i'm the only home
i've ever known. 

i've been here a thousand times...
haven't I?

- m.j.m